sunday night monologue

My latest social media trend? Avoiding social media for the 48 hours surrounding each new episode of Breaking Bad, desperately trying to avoid spoilers until the episodes arrive on Netflix.

Heat 2: It’s The Humidity starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy

Favorite thing I got to say last week: “I don’t see what’s so outrageous about a giant claymation head of Neil Degrasse Tyson.”

Oh. OH! Neil Degrasse Jr High! Has anyone ever thought of… Oh, they have. Nevermind.

Judging from the most recent estimates, by 2015, our house will be 70% filled with Things Our Daughter Wouldn’t Put Down At The Rummage Sale.

Our local dump is actually pretty nice. Are they going to have to call it something else?

I thought that spider hanging out by the front door was going to be a problem. Then I saw the wasps’ nest. Very quickly, I reevaluated my spider stance.

Spider stance, spider stance, does whatever in spider pants.
Does he walk? Does he jump? Does he stand by a bicycle pump?
Spins a web, on our stoop, where he’ll sleep and probably poop.
Lookout! Here got a spider stance, oh he’s got a spider stance!

Saturday night, I read a tweet from Steve Martin to Alec Baldwin. Then suddenly, they were in a movie together on TV. It was like Netflix time machine. Which, hopefully will be a sweet social media trend in 100 years. But if it is, I should know in just a minute, shouldn’t I?

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