Tag Archives: google+

friday afternoon monologue

Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun was suspended for the remainder of the season for violating Major League Baseball’s drug policy. After being handed a 150-game ban, Braun grabbed it, flexed his inhumanly powerful arms and compressed the suspension down to 65 games.

Full disclosure: every time I hear the name Bradley Manning, I think he’s a mashup of Bradley Cooper and Peyton Manning.

Royal Baby Fever has crested in England, with the birth of Will and Kate’s first child, Prince George Alexander Louis. The Queen is said to be delighted to have a great grandson, as well as One More Heir To The Throne Who Isn’t Prince Charles.

Prince Harry has said he wants to make life “as fun as possible” for his new nephew (and possible future king) Prince George. He’s taking the role of Funcle quite seriously, and has installed baby seats on both his helicopter and his motorcycle. Harry’s wing in Kensington palace is said be perfect for a moody, pampered child; so it should be fine for baby George as well.

Scientists at MIT successfully implanted false memories in the brains of laboratory mice. OR DID THEY??!??!??!??!?!!?!???

The Harvard School of Public Health has found that drinking coffee may help lower the risk of suicide by up to 50%. Harvard president Drew Faust hailed it as, “great news for Yale grads everywhere.”

Vandals splashed green paint on Washington DC’s Lincoln Memorial sometime early Friday morning. Police are carefully reviewing the surveillance footage and are confident in their ability to find and apprehend the guy who invented this.

Google announced its newest version of the Nexus 7 tablet is available for preorder at Best Buy. You remember Best Buy – they sponsor that date of the side of perishable food packaging.

This week Google also introduced Chromecast, a USB dongle that streams content directly to your TV. It included a promo of 3 free months of Netflix that was so popular, it was cut short. A dongle promotion that has proved to be far less popular: Carlos Danger. Although, many seem to think cutting that short could be a good idea, too.

 

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friday morning monologue

Winter Solstice – The day marking the seasonal change from Fall or Why Do I Live Here?

If you’re having trouble coping with the cold weather, maybe you’d like to assemble this new item of clothing I just invented. It’s a reverse vest – 2 sweater sleeves and a dickey. I call it The Reverst. Next year, I’m going to roll out a DIY Vest/Reverst kit  that consists of a sweater and a scissors. “Make 2 garments with just 3 cuts!”

Celebrity Cook Off II – This is happening. If you did not watch last year’s strong contender for most grossly engrossing basic cable reality “cooking” show, do yourself a favor – clear your afternoon and read all 5 parts of the epic Grantland coverage. You know that magical trajectory where things go from funny to not funny, then back to funny, then suddenly, inexplicably hilarious? This is it. The show goes from unnecessary to unwatchable to irresistible.

Speaking of cable TV – here’s a show you can pitch anytime after next year: GPS-less. The Travel Channel’s newest show is a reality game show hosted by Mike Rowe. Each episode, Mike ‘surprises’ pre-screened, but unsuspecting contestants on the street, provides them with the keys to a 2013 Ford Escape and a list of 3 semi-obscure local landmarks. He then dramatically turns off the vehicle’s GPS, takes their smartphones and starts the clock. If they can get to the final location before time runs out, they win $5000. If they choose to compete in the bonus round, they can risk the cash for a chance to win the car. Other featured sponsors: Yellow Pages, Rand McNally Atlas.

Did this happen to anyone else? I went to the YouTube and they told me, “Hey, we’re updating how user names are displayed – click here to go from being spudmuther to being Spud Muther.” So I did. Then, next time I logged into my Gmail, suddenly I was a member of Google+. Wha? I have a longstanding policy of mostly-ignoring only 2 social media platforms at a time (formerly myspace and Facebook. Currently Facebook and Twitter), so I think I’ll politely minus myself from Google+ when I can.

Buuuuuuut, I did scroll through the Google+ newsfeed and found this Seinfeld article that was pretty cool. Aaaaaaaand this sweet Apocalypse photo. Dangit.

While I scrolled through the Seinfeld article, I saw the phrase “Seinfeld, whose worth Forbes estimated in 2010 to be $800 million.” How do you know went you’ve attained wealth? Three words – “estimated net worth”. I’m confident that with one call to Wells Fargo or a few minutes on Mint.com, I could find out to the penny how much I’m currently worth/not worth. When you reach a point where the pile of wealth is so tall, it can’t even be measured, only estimated, you know you’ve made it.

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